Here's what I'd do

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Here's what I'd do

Postby GinnieFive » Mon Dec 07, 2009 6:29 am

I wrote this trailer for my idea for Short Circuit 3 a couple years ago. The story itself was never finished, but I read it tonight and I like it. I can still see it all edited in my head, crystal clear. It would have taken place in about 2005. ANd of course it has bagpipes in it.

It's in a rough screenplay format.

Just thought I'd share. It made me cry when I read it back.

Ginnie


SHORT CIRCUIT 3 TRAILER

ANNOUNCER (V.O.): In this life, it's amazing what people can lose...

FADE IN:
BEN JAVHRI works at his Radio Shack sales job, wearing a plaid jacket, just as corny as ever. He peers between racks of gadgets.

BEN (into camera): Would you like batteries with that?

ANNOUNCER (V.O.): They lose balance...

NEWTON CROSBY is clapping and cheering on a sunny day at the Highland games. His teenage daughter BENNIE is playing bagpipes in a massed band. As they march by her cheering dad, Bennie looks over at him, loses step, trips and falls OUT OF FRAME. Followed by weird groaning BAGPIPE SOUNDS.

CUT TO:
Bennie and Newton walking off the marching field as Bennie hugs her bagpipes.

NEWTON (cheerfully consoles her): You really were the best in your row. I wish your mom could have seen you.

ANNOUNCER (V.O.): lose touch...

STEPHANIE SPECK mucks about in her yard in Montana taking care of her many anmals and livestock. She looks tired and stressed.

BENNIE (V.O.): Dad, do you think Mom even knows I play the bagpipes.

CUT TO:
Newton, Bennie, and the bagpipes sit together on a bench on the porch of Stephanie's house in Oregon looking at the sunset as Newton puts his arm around her and the pipes.

NEWTON (V.O.): Not the last time I checked.

ANNOUNCER (V.O.): lose hope...

NEWTON sits up alone late at night, sadly staring at a thick stack of papers.

CLOSE on the top of the first page - a notice of divorce.

ANNOUNCER (V.O.): lose everything...

FRED RITTER now a scruffy bum stands out on a sidewalk in New York selling cheap watches.

FRED: Rolex...!

ANNOUNCER (V.O.): Or simply lose their way...

Closeup of SANDY BANATONI, in an office, dressed to the nines in a business suit holding a mile-high stack of papers.. She smiles sweetly.

SANDY: Johnny, sign all of these and then I'll need you to watch the kids this afternoon.... (leaves no time for an answer) OK? Great.

CUT TO:
In a big fancy city apartment, Ben and Sandy's two children, JOSH (8) and JOANNA (6) are at odds with someone. They are obviously in trouble and resisting authroity.

JOSH: You work for our mom and what we say goes...

JOANNA: Yeah, so GET LOST!!!

REVEAL that they are talking to JOHNNY FIVE. At this order from Joanna, he quizzically tilts his head and replies...

JOHNNY FIVE (very agreeably): OK.

ANNOUNCER (V.O.): But when Number Five gets lost, even he can't imagine what he's about to find.

Over short sequence of an address label slapped onto a big wooden crate which is loaded onto a truck. Througha a crack in the box, one of Johnny's large round eyes peers out.

CUT TO:
On the porch of Stephanie's house, Bennie freaks out as Johnny Five approaches her. She's obviously never seen him in person before.

BENNIE: DAD!!!

Newton bursts out of the house, amazed. He's breathless at the surprise, nearly speechless. Bennie's eyes are wide. He's real. Everything stops.

NEWTON (softly): Bennie... meet Johnny Five.

:::WHIMSICAL MUSIC STARTS:::

FADE TO:
SERIES OF SHOTS:

NEWTON (V.O. over shots): You'll get used to him, Honey.

BENNIE (V.O. cont'd over shots A-D): But he never lets up. He sings, tells jokes, cooks breakfast, checks my math homework,... follows me everywhere... makes me crazy. It's like having (beat) a brother.

SHOT A: Johnny cooking some complicated meal...
SHOT B: Johnny playing "Chopsticks" on the piano.
SHOT C: Johnny peeking into Bennie's classroom window at school.
SHOT D: Bennie opens her bedroom door to find a web of yellow string engulfing the room, strung from and between every piece of furniture, light fixture, or otherwise stationary object. Obviously a prank. She immediately shouts...

BENNIE: JOHNNY FIVE!!!!

CUT TO:

Bennie obviously frustrated at something else Johnny has done.

REVEAL Johnny, wrestling with Bennies bagpipes and some sort of air compression system, trying to play them. He's surrounded by bagpipe music and instructional materials.

BENNIE: What do you think you're doing?

JOHNNY FIVE: Oops...

CUT TO:
ANNOUNCER (V.O.): And Bennie Crosby is about to find...

:::EMOTIONAL MUSIC:::

Bennie stands under a tree in a park playing her pipes. Johnny regards her from a discrete distance and begins to reach toward her.

BENNIE (V.O.): I don't know, Ben. He's such a big weird... machine.

BEN (V.O.): Bennie, Number Johnny Five is only a machine on his outside. Inside, his heart is very soft.

CLOSE UP on Five's hand. He gently grabs hold of the silk tassle hanging from Bennie's bagpipe drones.

:::MUSIC SWELLS:::

She suddenly turns to look at him. HOLD on her during...

ANNOUNCER (V.O.): (cont'd): ...the big brother she never had.

CUT TO:
Newton and Johnny are both sitting at the dinner table laughing hysterically. Bennie is not amused.

NEWTON (through laughter): ...powered by hot air... that's brilliant...

JOHNNY: (uncontrolable laughter)

BENNIE: You guys are just alike!

NEWTON: Well, I am HIS dad too.

ANNOUNCER (V.O.): (cont'd): ...and the family she's always wanted.

Bennie sits in her bagpipe lesson gazing with respect at her teacher MR. PEDEN, a sweet middle-aged man. He seems distant, musing.

MR PEDEN: Given the chance to live again, I would have had a family of my own...

During dialogue CUT TO:
Johnny gazes longingly at an old photo of Stephanie and Newton.

BENNIE (V.O. over shot): Get Mom and Dad back together?!?

CUT TO:
Johnny at a nighttime event on the waterfront talking excitedly to Bennie.

JOHNNY: Yes! Get Stephanie back!

BENNIE: Are you nuts, Johnny Five?!

JOHNNY: (serious) Nuts AND bolts, Bennie.

ANNOUNCER (V.O.): And the real adventure hasn't even started.

Over shot of a little "parade" led by Bennie, playing her pipes, Johnny with Joanna on his shoulders, Ben and Josh. They march in silhouette on a ridge, headed for parts unknown, very "Braveheart"-like.

FADE TO:

LOGO

FADE TO:
Stephanie hard art work in the countryside of Monatana. She looks up suddenly, surprised.

STEPHANIE: Number Five?!?!

CUT TO:

CREDITS, DATES

FADE OUT.
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Re: Here's what I'd do

Postby SAINT4 » Sat Dec 12, 2009 12:19 pm

Wow, that's brilliant. I like the bagpipe-playing girl. Cute. It sounds like a really sweet, family-orientated little trailor to a family comedy movie. :D
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Re: Here's what I'd do

Postby Johnny5fangirl555 » Sun Dec 13, 2009 6:26 pm

:cry: Oh my gosh, I almost cried. That was so touching.

I can't believe it's too late to make a 3rd sequel to Short Circuit. I wish I could see a 3rd one.

I'm extremely upset now. My dreams are ruined.
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Re: Here's what I'd do

Postby Nessa » Mon Dec 14, 2009 6:35 am

This trailer needs some Peter Gabriel
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Re: Here's what I'd do

Postby GinnieFive » Thu Dec 17, 2009 1:23 pm

Nessa wrote:This trailer needs some Peter Gabriel


"In your eyes" or "sledghammer"?? :-)

PS: Nice to know a couple folks enjoyed the idea. I once thought about contacting Steve Guttenburg to see if he would back it. He would get a lead part and a possible directorship out of it. But I guess now it is too late... maybe.
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Re: Here's what I'd do

Postby Josee Millette » Sun Apr 11, 2010 7:08 pm

Wow! I love this. Thanks Ginnie for sharing it with us. Now, I want to SEE that movie!

I like the character of Bennie. That and the fact that she had never met Johnny before. I believe Stephanie and Newton wanted to hide his existence from her. I would really like to have Johnny Five as my big brother!

I wonder what went wrong with Stephanie and Newton for them to get divorced.

Funny that Fred has lost "everything" and goes back to selling his fake Rolex watches on a sidewalk corner. That's a nice wink to him and to the story...

Yeah, like Venessa said, there's missing some music. To which music would that trailer be playing to?
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Re: Here's what I'd do

Postby Sergey3 » Mon Apr 12, 2010 5:07 pm

I think that movie directors do not take your ideas. But I really liked the trailer. Good work. Sorry but translator is bad :oops:
- What is this red button? eh.. "Run atomic bomb, don't click"
... "CLICK"
- Time left: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, ....1
BOOOOOM!!
....Don't click unknown red buttons xDD...
@Ru22i@n R0b0t@
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Re: Here's what I'd do

Postby GinnieFive » Wed Jun 09, 2010 3:56 am

Hi Josee,

When I read this thing back it makes ME want to see this movie. BTW: Bennie is short for Belinda, but it's a bit of a nod to Ben as well. I also hae a role for Howard Marner in the story. And of course I couldn't resist the bagpipess. Lots of opportunity for humor and inspiration there. I still say that the Great Highland Bagpipes is simultaneously the funniest and most serious musical instrument. I have an idea about how Newton and Stephnaie drifted apart... and it's not so much that Bennie doen't know about Johnny Five as much as she has just not had him in her life becasue she was born after he ran off to the big city. Sometimes I wonder if the whole opening situation seems extreme, but families and friends do drift apart and the caraters need somewhere major to "come back" from the the story.

Sometimes I think about really writing the script, though I don't know where it could go from there.

Music: if it's Peter Gabriel, I guess Salsbury Hill, but hans't everyone used that? I'll have to think about it.

Ginnie
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Re: Here's what I'd do

Postby Julian Wilbury » Thu Jun 10, 2010 11:56 pm

I never did reply to this!

I loved this. While yes, the fact that everyone's lives were pretty much trashed bummed me out, I understand it would be hard to start a story with everything peachy keen. The mental image of Bennie playing the bagpipes in the park with J5 trying to reach out was so compelling that I ended up doing some similar "reaching out" sketches that never made the light of day.

And heheh, Solsbury Hill is my first and favourite Peter Gabriel song, so I wouldn't mind, but of course while I know it's missing the joke I would want Jeff Lynne. :D ("Lift Me Up" from Armchair Theatre? Oh, Ginnie is probably the only one who knows what I'm talking about; that album's so obscure. That, and I should stop before I get too geeky.)
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Re: Here's what I'd do

Postby circuit5389 » Fri Jun 11, 2010 11:14 pm

Oh wow! :o i thaught it was realy sad at first but the suden change in tempo made it sell real well with me! :D defo like the idea of Bennie dissliking J5 at first and developing relationship! and im curious as to what Fred did :o surly if the company went wrong Ben would help him out like Fred helped him unless he did something even worse than trying to sell Johnny 5!

nice writing! :D
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